8-0: The biggest Varsity shoeing in UWLHC history?

On what must’ve been the coldest night in February, the whole of UWLHC came out in force to watch the 1XI shoe the poly in one of the biggest wins in our Varsity history.

Upon arrival to Westwood we followed the sound of the banging tunes to the home changing rooms where we were greeted by our very own MUA Charlotte LLoyd (follow her hair and beauty page on insta) who kitted us out with our war paint and we were ready to show everyone why we go to the real uni.

As we walked out onto the pitch ready to show the fans why we are not only Warwick 1s, top of the league, being promoted but also in the finals of the conference cup (WHICH WE HAVE SINCE WON!), we were disappointed to hear the pathetic playlist, not in fact produced by DJ Kingy, but instead by some aspiring cov dj who didn’t know the difference between motivational tunes and slightly questionable eurovision hits. But this was never going to stop the mighty warwick 1s from winning for the 28th year.

6PM: the game began, along with Cov’s poor attempt at insulting us with their original chants, which were clearly more relevant to their players than ours.

It soon became apparent that this match was going to be an absolute shoeing of the poly as from the off, warwick 1s were clearly the stronger team, keeping possession, showing dominance in the game right from the back, with G, Salmon & Eva transferring the ball safely between them.

Within the first 10 minutes Bevis secured the first goal from an from an ambitious pass from the midfield, driven into the D past some “defenders” finished by one of her classic slides. We had started as we meant to go on. #covwho?! #anyofacoventry?!

Next comes Bean down the pitch, beating the whole team single-handedly (demonstrating she’s sports officer for a reason), crossing over to Phoebe for a cheeky deflection, 2-0 to the might red and blacks.

2 more goals and it was 5-0 at half time. Our determination, alongside Cov’s terrible chants, did not falter, and we hit them back hard again.

Short after short came, as did Hindley and Bean’s classic one-two, and much to Warwick’s surprise, Cov actually used some half decent defending skills (shame they couldn’t use any of their skills when they had a sixteen). However, they didn’t stop Hollerbach sliding in for a top corner goal that even the men’s team would be proud. #aintnohollerbachgirl

Goal after goal followed, and the game ended 8-0 - an outstanding performance.

Goals were scored by Bean x3 (HAT TRICKKKKKKK), Hindley x2 (We love you captain), Bevis (Bring on Bevis), Hollerbach (too many times she’s been round that track) and Phoebe (any of a biased umpire).

WOTM: Hindley

Celebrations were more than in order, with the pitch getting an excellent warwick 1s style watering** just in time for the slightly more contested men’s game.

See ya next year Cov!

*Make Up Artist for Cher Lloyd’s very own reference


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